February 18, 2008

Well, today was a pretty normal day.

I went to the mall, bookstore, supermarket.

Stuff like that.

Seems like a normal day right?

Well, it wasn't.

The only reason for that however, is because of the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about 2 things.

Or should I say 2 people.

The first is my ex-boyfriend who I'll call Jakob.

And the other is a new friend who I'll call David.

Anyways, the first broke up with me because school was ending and we wouldn't be able to see each other at all during the summer.

The second I met through a friend and we've been getting awfully close lately.

Well, I came to TX to visit my cousin thinking I was going to have fun since I was single.

But, I was wrong.

Because, lately Jakob has been acting more like a boyfriend then anything.

And when I talked to his friend about it, he said that Jakob really cared about me,

and we were basically dating but that he didn't ask me out because that's just not him.

I instantly felt guilty and felt that I had a commitment between us.

However, I have been getting awfully close to David and feel that we could have a relationship between us soon.

But, I am convinced that all David is really after, is a physical relationship to fill his sexual needs.

David is also much older than I am, but he has already talked to me about our sexual relationship.

I am very confused as to do right now.

Also, I forgot to mention that I am not the type of person who confronts.

For example, my friends were trying to get me to confront Jakob about his feelings toward me.

But whenever they told me to, I would chicken out.

I could really use some advice.

Please help me.

I can barely sleep at night thinking about these two.

I like them both, but I don't want to see them both without commitments because that would make me feel like a slut.

Please give any advice you have.

I'll appreciate it all.