February 22, 2008

Sorry, thought I was going to be able to re-post yesterday,
But I wasn't able to.
Well, nothing really happened yesterday.
Lucky I haven't had to talk to David yet.
Because I really don't want to.
I decided however, to tell you my choice.

I decided that I really shouldn't pick either of them.
I know most of you expected me to pick Jakob.
But, if I had, he still wouldn't have wanted a commitment.

In response to comments on Wednesdays blog:
Sanyo: I really don't care what you think.
Aurora: Thank you.
Cosmo [even though I deleted it]: Again with the offyish comments. LOl.

Today I had to go to work with my cousin Mimi.
But, I did not mind it at all.
I worked at a concession stand for a play.
The play was done by a theater group and it was Peter Pan.
I have to admit that Peter Pan [a senior in HS],
And one of the Lost Boys [a freshman in HS],
Were really really hott.

But, I think I screwed it up with Peter because when he came to get a snack,
I asked him what role he played,
Even though he had told me before the play.

But anyways, I'm returning to my homestate tomorow.
Hopefully.
And I get to see one of my best friends with BRACES!

Birthday is in 2 days and I can't wait for it.

BTW, I might get a little drunk [LMFAO],
But I promise not to fall down ANY stairs.
You know the two types I'm talking about.

Write more tomorrow,
Luv you guys.

XOXO

February 20, 2008

Well, I got a few good suggestions today.
Renn, thank you for the advice.
I honestly think that you gave me the best advice.
You helped understand so many different aspects of the situation.
And I think I know what to do now.
Also wanted to thank Johnny [even though I deleted it],
Malicia, Anonymous, Cosmo [bad choice], and Dr.Phil.
However, I'm not going to tell anyone my choice.

Today was a pretty normal day.
Took my cousins took get haircuts,
Went on a college tour [sounds dorky I know],
And went swimming.
Anyways, I sort of had a melt down towards the end of the day.
I am sorry to anyone that witnessed that.
I am sometimes too sensitive.
A few people now know a secret that I kinda didn't want out on the circuit.
It's sort of personal, so I won't mention it to anyone that hasn't already heard it,
But, to the people that did hear it.
Please keep it to yourself, even though I don't know many of you.
I wouldn't want that getting somewhere it shouldn't be. =[

Anyways, I think that when I get the chance,
I will talk to my choice. =]

Other than that, I had a pretty good day.

And btw, my meltdown in the unofficial blog is a good thing because;
It shows you how much I hate people who judge.
And you got to see the human side of me,
Not just the forum whore side. =[

Still kind of pissed off.
Post new blog tomorow. =]
BYEZ I LUVS YOUZ ALLZ =]

February 19, 2008

Today was the day people started to notice my blog.
To help you guys better understand yesterday's post,
I am not a virgin.
I know it's hard to believe because I am younger than a lot of the readers.
But it is true.
Anyways, to the person that commented the blog;
I had thought of choosing Jakob before,
But like I said, he doesn't want commitment;
And everytime I see him flirt with someone or talk like that,
It hurts because it makes me think that I mean nothing to him.
And yesterday I forgot to put that David don't me something I couldn't believe.
When I was just about to give him a chance,
He tell's me [apparently with no guilt whatsover];
That he had fucked a girl that day.
I couldn't believe that he could actually tell me that,
And still expect a relationship to be brought up by that.

Today I had to stay at my cousin's house all day and babysit because she had to work.
I was online all day and was basically fine until David signed onto AIM.
He immediately started flirting,
And even though I tried not to, I flirted back.
And at one point in the conversation,
He admitted that we wanted to have sex with me.
And that he would like to do it the next time we saw each other.
I am seriously confused and need help on how to approach these guys.
I know that plenty of people have read this blog,
Because I saw you discussing it.
And I could really use some advice.
You don't need to sign up to comment and I would love if you did.
Please help.

I am stuck between two guys.
The first [Jakob] was and still is my first and only love.
However, [David] excites me and challenges me in a way that no one else ever has.
I don't know who to pick.
And if I don't pick anybody, how do I stop flirting and confront them?

February 18, 2008

Well, today was a pretty normal day.

I went to the mall, bookstore, supermarket.

Stuff like that.

Seems like a normal day right?

Well, it wasn't.

The only reason for that however, is because of the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about 2 things.

Or should I say 2 people.

The first is my ex-boyfriend who I'll call Jakob.

And the other is a new friend who I'll call David.

Anyways, the first broke up with me because school was ending and we wouldn't be able to see each other at all during the summer.

The second I met through a friend and we've been getting awfully close lately.

Well, I came to TX to visit my cousin thinking I was going to have fun since I was single.

But, I was wrong.

Because, lately Jakob has been acting more like a boyfriend then anything.

And when I talked to his friend about it, he said that Jakob really cared about me,

and we were basically dating but that he didn't ask me out because that's just not him.

I instantly felt guilty and felt that I had a commitment between us.

However, I have been getting awfully close to David and feel that we could have a relationship between us soon.

But, I am convinced that all David is really after, is a physical relationship to fill his sexual needs.

David is also much older than I am, but he has already talked to me about our sexual relationship.

I am very confused as to do right now.

Also, I forgot to mention that I am not the type of person who confronts.

For example, my friends were trying to get me to confront Jakob about his feelings toward me.

But whenever they told me to, I would chicken out.

I could really use some advice.

Please help me.

I can barely sleep at night thinking about these two.

I like them both, but I don't want to see them both without commitments because that would make me feel like a slut.

Please give any advice you have.

I'll appreciate it all.